Wisdom for Wives

"Be diligent to know the state of your flocks …"

Learning and Loving by Listening

on September 7, 2013
Chalk drawing of man and woman playing "Telephone"

image credit: foe.co.uk

I cherish long family car rides. They give me and my husband an opportunity for uninterrupted conversation, which can be difficult to come by. When we are not intentional about spending time together, days can pass without a meaningful conversation. But with the kids strapped in, snacked up, and plugged into their entertainment devices in the second and third rows of our Honda Odyssey, we can talk about … whatever! Current events, popular culture, the Bible, our relationship. Sometimes these discussions are deep and serious, and sometimes they’re totally goofy. Some of our best conversations have taken place in our minivan, on I-95 between Washington, DC, and Virginia Beach.

A few months ago, on our drive home from visiting family, my husband and I were having an especially good time of fellowship in the front row. I don’t remember what we were talking about, only that I was very happy. Somehow, the conversation got to money and my husband mentioned our tax returns. Internally I groaned, “I don’t want to hear this.” Almost immediately, I came to my senses. “What?!” I shouted to myself, still internally. “You are about to start a blog for women about finances and you don’t want to hear about your  taxes?!?” So I tuned in to what my husband was saying, and before long we moved on to another topic. But I had almost missed an opportunity to have a relatively low-stress conversation about money. Talking about money isn’t always easy, but it does not always have to be difficult, either. We can learn more about finances just by paying attention when the topic comes up.

Further, I almost missed out on being a good listener, which is at least 50% of good communication. (AND, everyone says that good communication is essential to a successful marriage. I personally think forgiveness should at least be tied for first place, if not first entirely, but that’s a topic for another post.) Listening shows that I care, and that what is important to him is important to me. Even if your husband already handles all the bills perfectly and effortlessly (Praise the Lord!); even if you are confident that you have no help to offer (You might be surprised!); and even if the Lord takes both of you on the same day, after your children are grown, to be with Him in eternity (May it be! May it be!!);* if your husband cares about money, then as his partner, isn’t it loving to listen as he shares that concern? So you can pray, and encourage him? Or just be with him in the struggle?

I would like to encourage you, if finances have been left to your husband to deal with alone (whether by his choice, yours, or both), to prayerfully consider how and whether this should change. If for no other reason, than to show him that you are by his side.

~~Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)~~

Thank you for stopping by,


* Unless Jesus comes back first. 🙂


Speak the truth in love

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